Restless heart.
I feel SO restless.
It's hard not having anything exciting and fun to look forward to. Instead I'm trying to get the puzzle of life together, with work, money, friends and love.
Now, it seems to work quite fine actually.
But when I relax, I can feel it.. "The itch".
Don't know how to scratch back, actually, or how to make it go away. Come to think of it.. I actually don't want it to go away. I need that itch. I just need to "scratch" it, in a less.. hmm.. destructive way, than before.
In retrospect, I can see that I behaved badly. I hurt a lot of people, myself included.
It was a high price to pay, not only for me, to get a hard lesson.
I just fear that my "past adventures" made my itch even heavier to get rid of.
I need to slow down, and breathe.. and scratch... carefully.
It's hard not having anything exciting and fun to look forward to. Instead I'm trying to get the puzzle of life together, with work, money, friends and love.
Now, it seems to work quite fine actually.
But when I relax, I can feel it.. "The itch".
Don't know how to scratch back, actually, or how to make it go away. Come to think of it.. I actually don't want it to go away. I need that itch. I just need to "scratch" it, in a less.. hmm.. destructive way, than before.
In retrospect, I can see that I behaved badly. I hurt a lot of people, myself included.
It was a high price to pay, not only for me, to get a hard lesson.
I just fear that my "past adventures" made my itch even heavier to get rid of.
I need to slow down, and breathe.. and scratch... carefully.
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